Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize