I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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