Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize