The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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