R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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