She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize