We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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