You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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