I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize