So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
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The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
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So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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