i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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