I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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