I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
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I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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