WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am naked and annoyed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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