Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize