Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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