I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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