Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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