they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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