your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize