I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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