I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize