and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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