And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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