Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize