it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize