im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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