I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize