It's like a parade of train wrecks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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