We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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