you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize