i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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