When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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