Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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