You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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