On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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