I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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