She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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