When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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