I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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