So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize