i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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