look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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