just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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