Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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