Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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