We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
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turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
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Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm always down for nudity.
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