Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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