What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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