WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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