I'm really into asian looking animals
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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